Space

Today Griffin said, "Mom, wouldn't it be just so great if we could have a house.

A real house with space and we can have lots of guests?".

That hit me so hard. 

So much has changed for us in the past year and a half and I thought Matt

and I were the only ones having to "deal" with this small apartment. 

I've worked really hard to make this apartment feel like a home and I think I just

assumed that most kids don't feel "space". I thought Griffin just saw this place as his home.

And I was wrong.

 Maybe he hears me talk of my dreams to Matt. 

My dreams of a place for Griffin to run and play.

Space to create and craft.

Space for Jasper to roam.

Space for Matt to build things with Man Tools.

A space for guests.

I guess I need to speak less of my dreams and more of our realities when Griffin is listening.

Our reality is we have everything we could possibly need within the walls of this tiny space.

There's barely enough room to fit two people in the kitchen to bake cookies

but there's room.

There's barely enough room for dance parties

but there's room.

There's barely enough room to run and play outside

but down the hill a ways there's room.

There's barely enough room for all of us to play in the living room together

but there's room.

There's barely enough space for both boys to share a bedroom with space to play

but there's room.

Because there's a time in I think everyone's lives where they have to learn to let go of what

doesn't matter and learn about what truly does matter.

For us, right now, this tiny space will suit us just fine.

And when we are ready to spread our wings and fly, God will provide the wind.

This is what I must teach Griffin.

I love the little ways that he teaches me by me having to deal with my demons

in order to teach him.

Little stinker.