Best Moments This Week

My favorite moments this week with my boys were small ones

but ones I want to remember.

I want to remember how much I love meal times with Jasper.

I love sitting across from him and talking to him.

It's a view I don't see often since most of the time I'm carrying him.

I want to remember the way Griffin is always jumping off things.

He's getting so tall and most of the time he gets yelled at for jumping off the couch

but how can I resist when he says,
"MOM! I'm going to jump off the couch and you take my picture, okay?!".

(I'm actually pretty psyched I got this shot since the only light in the whole living room after dark 

is the lamp here behind Griffin.)

Five

A switch went on when he turned five.

Like, he just grew

in a flash

right before my eyes.

Five is, in a word, 

INTENSE.

He's still funny and lighthearted and eager to learn and grow.

But he's also

moody

and serious

and more of a deep feeler than ever before. 

But, as always, he is a lover.

Take note of the way he perked up when Daisy, a pretty little girl in his class, happened by.

Subtle. 

I like five.

I fight with five.

I laugh at five.

I'm grossed out by five.

I forgive five.

But I do so very much LOVE him. 

No matter what the age.

Or mood.

Peas

This guy will be 7 months old tomorrow.

Today he is drooling his breakfast peas and his jammies have a thin layer of 

dried peas crust on them. 

He has learned that it is fuuuuunny to blow raspberries at mommy 

when his mouth is full of food.

But sitting here across from him.

Feeding him,

talking to him,

laughing with him,

being covered in his spit-food...

There's just nothing else in the whole world I'd rather be doing right in this moment.

And as a special treat, the elusive "I'm poopin' here" face.

You're welcome.

This Time Last Year

Tonight I was going through old phone photos.

And I hit on the folder that had the hundreds that I had taken when I was pregnant 

with Jasper.

Looking back now, I realize that that time with Griffin was incredibly precious

and will never be again. 

As I've been writing about, in September of last year we moved our family into a little apartment.

In October I had lost my job.

We had one working car, no money, I was pregnant 

and most of the time I was sick.

We pulled Griffin out of his preschool because we couldn't afford it.

So, he and I became inseparable. 

Together 24 hours a day.

The Fall and Winter months were intense at times.

No car to go anywhere.

No safe neighborhood to walk in.

Frigid weather.

It made for very long days inside.

But the two of us became something different for a time.

This kid is normally go go go.

But for those difficult months, he stopped.

He went to every doctor's appointment with me.

Heard Jasper's every heartbeat that was monitored.

On the days we did have a car, we only went to the store for food or to my mother's for laundry.

My body couldn't take much more than that.

Most days were spent on the couch or in bed.

We talked.

We laughed.

We watched dozens of movies with our once a week library haul.

He would constantly have a hand on me.

He was very serious during this time.

As though he felt he needed to protect me.

It was a quiet time.

Not too many fights.

Not too many "MOM! I'm booooored!".

It just was.

Mind you, not every single second was like this. 

There were demands to go outside and play or go to the Zoo or Science Center or ANYTHING

that was out of the apartment. 

Some days I was able to swing something.

And there was always his once a week playdate with his good friend.

But most days were just quiet.

Sometimes now he asks for that time back.

He asks if Daddy and Jasper could go somewhere so he and I could snuggle

in bed and watch a movie on my computer. 

My heart swells so much with these requests. 

Because I know he doesn't resent that time that felt so lacking in fun and play and joyfulness.

It actually meant something to him.

That closeness.

That bond that got stronger.

I hope to always remember that time.

A Boy Named Noccio

Years ago,

we started to read Griffin a book each night before bed. 

Sometimes 2 or 3 books.

Soon, Griffin wanted more. 

So, Matt started telling him stories he made up in his head. 

They were always about a boy named Noccio.

And they always began the same way.

"Once upon a time, there was a boy named Noccio."

They usually parallel what's happening in Griffin's life at the time. 

But with plenty of fart and poop jokes thrown in. 

See, I can't tell these stories properly.

Apparently I suck at the poop humor.

And Griffin cannot go to bed peacefully without hearing a Noccio story.

So, when Matt knows he has to work on a given night at his second job,

he'll go to his car that day during his lunch hour and record himself telling a Noccio story.

Then he'll text it to me. 

After Jasper goes down, we shower and brush our teeth, and read a book.

Then we play the recorded Noccio story.

Griffin usually plays it several times. 

We love that Daddy works so hard for us.

And I love that he makes these special stories a priority.

Even when he can't be here in person.

(I've always wanted to find an excuse to edit a few photos with RadLab's Grandma's Tap Shoes.

I kinda love the colors.)

One Year

Happy Halloween!

Tonight was rainy, windy, and coooold.

We had a last minute costume change from Finn Human (shorts and t-shirt)

to a vampire (he got to wear his Long Johns under his outfit).

We decided to break with tradition and head to the indoor heat of the mall.

But the mall was kind of a bust. Long long lines for very few participating stores.

So, I decided we needed to brave the wind, rain, and cold and stick with our tradition

of trick-or-treating in New Town.

We bundled Jasper up in an afghan and trick-or-treated our little hearts out.

Griffin rocked his manners with each house and even a few pretty gals got 

unexpected hugs from our little Don Juan.

In between each house: 

"This is the best day of my life!". 

****

One year ago today I baked 700 cupcakes for a small bakery I worked at then was abruptly let go. 

One year ago today, I cried the whole drive home, terrified as to how Matt would react. 

One year ago today, my pregnant self walked through the door of our new apartment and got

the biggest and best peace hug from my husband.

One year ago today he looked me square in the eye and said, 

"You are home now, where you belong. I will make this work.". 

And just like that, a new chapter had started.

This has been the most difficult and most rewarding year of my life.

One year ago, we lost much, moved into a little apartment, and I lost my job.

During this past year, I became a stay-at-home mom, gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, 

Griffin started Kindergarten, Matt got a new job AND a part-time job.

With Matt's hard work, my photography, a few Etsy sales, 

and the charity of friends and strangers alike, we've made it.

One year.

Longest year ever.

Sweetest year ever.

We are rounding the top of the mountain. 

We have plans and hope to put them into action soon.

 First and foremost, it is time to dig ourselves out of a sizeable hole that was 

necessary to dig in order to survive.

We have a long road ahead of us but because of this past year,

what we've overcome,

who we've become,

how we have grown,

we have a very clear vision as to what we want our future to be.

Oh how sweet it is.

Also, cutest vampire EVAAAR.