I apologize for my lack of blogging as of late.
I guess that I can view this busy time as a good thing.
Every single day is so jam packed that something must always be dropped.
It's good to be so busy.
But the things that always wind up getting dropped are the things that really
fill me up.
And reading my favorite blogs.
And throwing rocks in the lake with G.
And watching movies with Hubs.
Mainly obligations fill my days.
I'm working to change that.
I hope you all had a good Easter!
Ours was good and bad, as any Holiday is.
The drama, the sweet moments, the appreciation of the day, the frustration, etc.
We dyed Easter Eggs at 9:00pm on Easter Sunday.
I really wanted to dye eggs.
So we made it happen.
G had fun!
Hubs did not.
G isn't exactly "gentle" with delicate things.
G has started the "Terrible Twos" a bit late.
He'll be 3 in 3 months.
I understood when G was still learning to string words together why he would be fussy.
He couldn't really communicate his feelings.
But now he knows how to communicate his feelings.
And that's the problem.
He FEELS so much.
Oh the burden of being a little sponge.
The intensity of feeling when you have no concept of time and all you want to do is keep playing
with that toy you found in the store and Mommy says it's time to go.
The intense emotion of
"ALL I WANT TO DO MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD IS
PLAY WITH THAT TOY!!!!".
But with the sour comes the sweet.
This little guy shows such depth of love.
He wrings my neck with "squeezies" and tells me a secret.
"I lob too, Mommy"
The night before Easter
Hubs and I were trying to recount the Resurrection of Christ to G.
We fumbled. It was funny.
Something along the lines of this...
"Jesus was so cool and people just loved to hang out with Him. He wandered the whole world just making people happy! Isn't that so awesome?!
But there were some people that didn't like Jesus so they killed Him.
But it's okay because on Easter Sunday He rose up up up up into the sky!
Like a rocket.
And now He lives in Heaven!
Isn't that so cool?!"
You would have had a good laugh at us if you were there.
How. Cool. Is. That?
How cool is it that despite my "Terrible THIRTY Twos", God still loves me.
I've been a bit of a mess lately but I'm working on it.
I have a personal relationship with Jesus but I don't often pray as much as I should.
I think of God daily and thank Him for the many blessings in my life
but I really don't PRAY as much as I should.
I did yesterday.
Yesterday I got the opportunity to 2nd shoot my first wedding.
What a great thing!
Before leaving the house I looked down at what I had.
And what I didn't have.
"God, I am grateful for this. I am so happy. I will do my very best. But I don't have THINGS.
I don't have all that I need. Lenses, camera bodies, cases, flashes, cards, etc. I don't have THOSE things.
I'll do my best with this. I'm giving the rest to you."
I don't often do that.
You know, "leave it at the foot of the cross", as they say.
Others would call it "the Hows".
Because I burden myself with the falsity that I should be able to do it all myself.
And that somehow I'm a failure that I can't.
I'm working on that.
I read up on one of my favorite blogs today.
They have 5 kidlets, with one just being adopted a month ago.
Just recently they found out they were pregnant.
They will have 6 kidlets under age 7 in their house soon.
I had to mull that one over in my brain for a sec.
Then it kinda hit me.
If she can do it so can I.
She stays at home but has a boat load of kids.
That's like having a boat load of full time jobs.
I have two full time jobs and one kidlet.
I think we can both do it.
I have confidence.
I have faith.