Monday, March 21, 2011

Mondays, Locking Myself Out, and Courage

Who knew that Mondays would become my favorite?

For the first year and a half of G's life, I worked from home full time.
It was wonderful.
I was there for everything.
Then work needed me in the shop more and I went to working from home twice a week.
It tore my heart out but atleast I got a few full days with him.
Now, we are down to one. One sweet, special, normal, ordinary, blissful day a week.
It's difficult to work from home and be the Mama.
But I'll take it.
I'll take it so I can look into these eyes.
Today we spent a lot of time in front of the window.
Spring is officially here!
The wind was delicious. 
 This is G's chair.
It was once mine when I was his age.
Before that it was my great-grandmother, Maboo's chair.
I can't tell you how happy this makes me.
 Be. Still. My. Heart.

 I love this picture but feel the need to explain. No, he is not poking himself in the eye.
This is a little sticker of a telescope.
He is showing me how to use a "tesecope".

 See this? This is a sore reminder - in my kitchen - of how I had to break myself
into the house yesterday because I locked myself out.
Thank the Lord the window was unlocked!

It was a cookie kind of day.
I always roll my cookies in sugar before popping them in the oven.

I had a few comments on Facebook from my last post.
About courage.
I'd like to talk about courage for a moment.
Atleast courage at it pertains to me (because that's what I know).
There are countless things in my life that I just don't move on.
Important things.
Here is my reasoning.
If I DON'T start/do/try/attempt/finish something then the possibility of being
 amazing at it is always there.
If I DO start/do/try/attempt/finish something, then the possibility of failure becomes evident.
Don't you love the planning stages of things?
Visualizing yourself succeeding is amazing.
But going through it.
The trials.
The errors.
The failures.
That's tough.

I'll be honest here and give you an example.
My hair is thinning.
Like, I have to fix it in a certain way to hide certain spots, thinning.
I have an overwhelming feeling that it's from stress but I still need to go see a Dermatologist.
I haven't though.
I love the idea of going there and the Dr. gives me a miracle drug that makes my hair grow back
better than ever.
But if I go then there is that chance that he or she will tell me that there is nothing they can do.
That would be crushing.
Don't get me wrong. I'm going to go. It's just one of those things I've got to psych myself up for.

But this dream of mine?
Being a full time professional photographer?
It just is. I have found a home behind the lens.
And I feel it's okay if I fail sometimes because this is what I was meant to do.
There are those things in life that come along that you have no choice but to just move forward.
Does that equal courage?
I'm not sure.
I'm no more courageous than anyone else.
But I'm grateful for those people that left comments.
You make me feel courageous.
It helps keep the momentum.

What are YOUR dreams?
Big or small.
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
On courage. On dreams. On anything.

Happy Monday!

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